The Confluence of Burnout and Breakthrough

The Year I Walked Away: Rebuilding from the Inside Out. From the desk of the CEO, Adam Cheatham

It’s officially been a year since I stepped out into the unknown and followed through on my decision to leave behind what seemed to be a lucrative career with a promising organization.  I didn’t know it, but at the time, my body was telling me something my mind and spirit hadn’t figured out yet.  That something was wrong, that I was misaligned with myself, and that I had lost sight of my purpose. 

I decided to quit that big job with nothing lined up to replace it. It was important to me that I didn’t start another professional effort while my commitment to professional work was made to others.  I could have toughed it out and found something else to have a soft landing, but looking back on it, I see that that wouldn’t have given me the room I needed for a full demolition.  I didn’t realize how badly I needed a full scrape and replacement for a long time after.

The Signs I Ignored

There had been signs I ignored.  People who tell you “we don’t get to coach our kids’ baseball teams in our industry,” or “no really, you got fired, didn’t you?”  The kinds of things people tell you when they’re focused on the control, the gossip, or some other kind of nefarious intent designed to reinforce their opinions of themselves.  The trips to the emergency room and the doctor’s commentary, “There’s nothing wrong with you, but are you under a lot of stress?”

Then the invisible hand that guides you back to center when you’ve lost your compass comes.  I’ve had this feeling only a few times before.  It’s almost out of body.  Your core makes decisions for you before you know they’ve been made, and you’re watching the reconstruction of your entire world before your eyes.  It’s unnerving – because it starts with a wrecking ball. 

When the Compass Shatters

The pillars of my life I used to depend on were shattered.  It turns out they were overgrown with a noxious weed that was poisoning my mind, body, and spirit.  What I was left with was a barren wasteland with a few beautiful cornerstones to build back up on. 

First and foremost, my amazing wife, whose courage to start The Confluencial and then her belief in me to bring me into it was an inspiration.  With nothing to give, you find out who matters, and with the nothing I had, she lifted me up and gave me the support I needed to grow again.  She’s the leader of our company and our family for good reason, and I’ve spent the last year seeing it over and over.

Next, of course, my children – it’s amazing how quickly you find a purpose when it’s sitting in the back seat, telling you frame by frame how the Titanic struck an iceberg, or showing you what determination really is by mastering dance and cheer simultaneously through sheer will and focus.  Those soft voices show their love, innocence, and fragility, the moment you need a reason to find your strength.  Those crazy, hilarious moments when you do coach their baseball team and they run to third base, or the proud moments when they connect on a big swing.

And the friends and family who have been the key to helping me find my health, my physical strength, my spirit, and my integrity.  There are too many to count, most of whom I wouldn’t have guessed, and those of whom I would surely have thought of but didn’t come through.  It’s my network that showed me who I know I can depend on and why.  

Rediscovering My Core

I spent a ton of time last summer getting to know my kids, my wife, and my friends.  Getting to know my body, my mind, and my soul.  They were there all along, but I had forgotten how to see them. 

I picked up what I thought was an aggressive diet with trust and hope, combined it with a routine workout regimen, and started focusing on the health of my body.  It turns out that when you treat it well, it works better.  When you feed it well, it runs better.  And when you train it well, it gets stronger.  Furthermore, with strength and health comes mental clarity that’s built on the toxins and poisons that a balanced, fit body clears out without mercy.

I gave my brain a chance to turn down and get out of the over-stimulated, over-burdened focuses on material gains and the expectations of others.  Feeding my body fed my mind, and as the cloudiness cleared away I was able to think more clearly and effectively. I let go of what others wanted me to think about and let my mind find it’s passions and found new, exciting pursuits that give me greater fulfillment.

I went fishing. I got back in tune with my inner balance, found peace on the river, and reconnected with the flow of my life, which always washes away the rubble and leaves a clean, clear environment for my spirit to thrive. I shared the outdoors with my kids and learned what makes them who they are—and how it’s my most important purpose to always endeavor to learn who they are. 

All of this gave me the chance to find the reset and rebuild I needed to become a whole, healthy me again.  It’s reshaped how I love my family, how I prioritize my efforts, and who I build my most critical relationships with.

Rebuilt for the Right Reasons

These learnings have become the core of how I serve those who support The Confluencial: our employees, clients, partners, and Chief Performance Officer. It’s with these learnings that I strive to be the best I can be based on who I am on the inside and share that with everyone I can—not because it makes me money or because someone said or did some nasty things to me, but because it’s what’s right and what matters.

Our mission at The Confluencial is to lead in the market by bringing transparency, integrity, and honesty to our work, which is connected to my core.  It means I won’t tell half-truths to gain clients, make promises I don’t expect to keep to bring on special talent, or take advantage of any situation based on an unfair perspective, dishonest message, or omitted truths.  We do work that brings technology to the fingertips of our clients’ organizations, enabling them with things like ERP, AI, and critical strategic insights, because we know it’s what’s right.  And because it’s in our core, it drives our body, mind, and spiritual pillars to provide for those who seek our assistance.

Our Work, Rooted in Integrity

If you or anyone you know has had a similar experience with misalignment in your core, please reach out.  I am happy to share my story in greater detail to help anyone who may need it.  It’s important to find health in body, mind, and spirit, and the alignment that comes has a power you never knew existed.  Don’t let yourself be taken advantage of or let someone else put a damper on your light.  It doesn’t belong to them.  It belongs to you.